


How do I live

by Kingrey



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Angus Macgyver (Macgyver 2016), Hurt/Comfort, Stabbing, Worried Jack Dalton (MacGyver TV 2016)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingrey/pseuds/Kingrey
Summary: Jack hated convenience stores with a burning passion. They were dirty, unwelcoming and used stupid breakup songs from the 90s that resonated way too much with his current situation as background music.How do I live without you? Well, Jack didn't want to know.





	How do I live

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey!  
> Idk if any of you are waiting for the fourth chapter of Breaking Point (a writer can hope) buuut I'm kinda stuck so, here is what I wrote instead! I hope you will like it!

Convenience stores were the worst and, as a rule, Jack generally tended to keep away from them. They were gross, overpriced, and the cashiers seemed to hate the place almost as much as him.

Pushing the disgusting oily handle, he reminded himself that, at 2 a.m., it was his only option - and it was an emergency. He was in a rush either way, so he didn't really care. He went directly to the shelve where he could see some kind of first-aid. He took in his arms all that seemed remotely helpful, picked up two bottles of water and went to the checkout, trying at the same time to ignore his heart beating in his throat.

The cashier was young, and a living incarnation of boredom. Jack was one second away of just robbing this stuff by helding this slow kid at gunpoint - he had morals, yes, but it was mostly because he didn't want to be located too easily that he didn't do it. His leg was bouncing nervously, and the random heartbreak song that was playing didn't help his nerves.

_How do I live without you?_  
_I want to know_  
_How do I breathe without you?_  
_If you ever go_

“Can’t you go any faster ?!” Jack finally snapped, his stomach in knots.

The cashier only raised his eyebrows in a judgemental way, before keeping exactly the same pace as before. God, when all this shit is over, Jack will find him again and punch him. (He knew that the kid probably had this sucky job to pay his studies, that he probably dealt with awful customers all day and worked equally awful hours, but Jack had no time right now to think about all this). Two items to go and Jack thought he got a taste of infinity.

_And I, baby, I don't know what I would do_  
_I'd be lost if I lost you_

The agent slammed the money on the counter before the cashier even finished, and started to take his items. This fucking song was messing with him, and he already spent too much time in this store that smelt like feet. He gritted out “keep the change” to the probably emotionless teenager and went for the door.

_Baby don't you know that you are_  
_Everything good in my life_

The lyrics echoed within him as he finally pushed the door. He thought he was going to barf. Swallowing it up, he went for the sorry excuse of a car parked alone in front of the store. The mop of blond hair he spotted through the window eased a little the anxiety in him. At least, Mac hadn’t disappeared in his eight minutes absence.

He opened the door to the back seats and let his purchases fall on the seat. He then crawled to Mac, who was leaning against the door. The purple lighting from the shop sign made him look paler than before, and Jack stopped breathing when he saw his closed eyes.

“Come on brother” he choked out, while lightly touching his shoulder. “Don’t do this to me. Wake up”

Mac’s eyes fluttered open, and Jack breathed a small sigh of relief, before taking his friend’s pulse. It wasn’t that strong, but at least it was regular. That was… Better than some situations they’ve found themselves into before. Jack could work with that. He closed the car door that he let open in his rush to check on Mac, before picking up the bottle of aspirin that had rolled off the seat.

“J… J’ck?” Mac slurred quietly.  
“Yeah, I’m here” Jack reassured quickly, turning gently Mac’s head to look at him in his barely opened eyes.

He grimaced when he saw the kid’s limp hand over the patch of blood on the side of his stomach. He carefully pushed it aside and started to cut the shirt with Mac’s knife.

“Weren’t you supposed to put pressure on that thing?” he joked shakily.  
“... Forg’t… S’rry…” Mac answered after some time, a lopsided smile adorning his face.

( _Baby don't you know that you are Everything good in my life_ , whispered the echo of a song in his head and, god, how true it was)

Jack’s laughter sounded like a sob to his own ears, but he smiled nonetheless. The wound was dark, purple thanks to the lighting, and Jack could barely distinguish it but he remembered its ragged edges very well. The surroundings were hot to the touch and that was not a good sign. Jack grabbed the aspirin and a bottle of water, hoping that this step would be easy.

“Mac? You need to take this to help you with the pain, come on”

The kid’s face scrunched up and he wordlessly opened his mouth, as if he didn’t have enough air to answer. What little energy that took seemed to drain him, and he fell further into his seat, only humming his agreement. Jack caressed his forehead, pushing out stray strands of hair while trying to ignore the heat coming out of his friend. He put one pill in Mac’s mouth, helped him drink it down with water before doing it a second time.

After that, he took the disinfectant he found and some rectangular piece of cotton he soaked with it. His free left hand went back to Mac’s cheek, and Jack made him open his eyes once more.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, trying to get the attention of the rolling blue eyes. “C’mon Mac, this is important, do you trust me?”  
“... f’course” he mumbled after some times.  
“It’s gonna hurt kiddo, I’m sorry. Try… Not to move” Jack said, knowing that Mac was too out of it to control himself.

Suddenly, he remembered that they were still on a parking lot near a convenience store. If Mac screamed, the cashier would probably call the police, so Jack took off his belt one handed.

“Here, bite on this” he insisted, while putting it in Mac’s mouth.

The kid wasn’t reacting much anymore. That was going to change, though, Jack knew it and was dreading it. He put his left hand on Mac’s torso before finally putting the alcohol soaked cotton on the wound. As predicted, Mac screamed and tried to escape Jack’s grip, tears suddenly running down his cheeks. Jack was probably going to vomit after that, but all he could do now was murmuring reassurances and apologies to the kid.

When it was over, the poor blond was heaving, his eyes closed, and Jack stroked his damp hair, still trying to apologize to him.

“... ‘S’ok…”  
“It’s… It’s really not brother, but I swear it will be.”

Jack wiped off his own traitorous tears before taking the bandages he bought. He tried to cover the wound as efficiently as he could while trying not to jostle Mac too much. Instead of his fear, he focused on the boiling anger inside him - anger at the bastard who stabbed Mac, at the mission that made them tracked and isolated men in the middle of their own country, at the impossibility to call for backup or an ambulance unless they want to get caught and killed immediately, at the fucking slowest cashier Earth has ever produced… Yeah, Jack was pissed. Matty, Riley and Bozer were fleeing too and Jack honestly didn’t know what he could really do to help any of his teammates. So he got angry and treated Mac to the best of his capacities and hoped for the best.

“There we go” he finally declared, satisfied at least by the bandages.

Mac hummed in response, which was better than Jack expected. Seeing that the blond was shivering, Jack took off his own hoodie and put it over Mac, wincing in sympathy as he helped him put his arms in the holes. Jack had found earlier an ugly sweater in this car but, judging by the weird stains and the smell, he preferred not to put it near Mac’s open wound. (Jack felt disgusting enough wearing it, he didn’t need to know what diseases it carried.)

Mac’s head lolled to the side so Jack helped him get more comfortable. His skin was hot but not dangerously so and he was probably going to fall back into unconsciousness soon, but Jack was reticent about leaving him in the back seat. But they needed to move and find somewhere to sleep. The agent started to crawl back to the door to get out, but Mac’s hand latched on his sleeve (which, once again, was sure to be a safety hazard.)

The kid mumbled something unintelligible and his grip was far from firm, but his eyes were clearer than before and Jack rarely saw him that unsure and scared. His heart was twisting in his chest, but he took hold of Mac’s weak hand and put it back carefully, a tired smile on his lips.

“I’m not going anywhere bud, I swear. I just need to drive and get us somewhere to sleep in.”

Mac was not coherent but he didn't protest more. Jack got out and went to the front seat, throwing a quick glance to Mac, who was fortunately easily viewable from this point. He started the car and drove away from the store, aimlessly wandering through the city. The lights were making Mac look paler rhythmically and each time, Jack’s teeth were grinding harder together.

The team was being tracked by some very dangerous people right now. Jack didn’t have any contact with the others; they had missions in opposed parts of the city and, even if their side did what they had to do, Mac’s injury stopped them from trying to find Matty’s group. Jack’s hands tightened around the wheel. _Fuck it_ , he thought, _we’re going to a motel and if the bad guys find us… I’ll deal with it then_.

Decision reached, he just had to follow some advertisements and ended up to a simple motel. He parked, sighed and had an idea when a whiff of the gross smell of alcohol emanating from his pull nearly made him gag. He got out (after checking once again on Mac) and staggered to the tenant’s office. He entered, and loudly asked for a room with two beds. At first, he worried that his terror for Mac’s life would shine through his act, but once he showed his money, the old guy bought it easily, and didn't question it when he dragged his unconscious friend to the room.

Jack had to keep on his drunk act, but the wet feeling under his right hand made him want to barf for real. He kept a steady flow of whispered reassurances to Mac, who answered by choked out moans. His legs were practically useless and, for once, Jack was grateful the kid wasn’t that heavy (he wasn’t light either to be honest, but Jack wouldn’t want to carry someone his own size instead). Finally, they reached the door and Jack unlocked it with some difficulties.

It was little and cramped, but it seemed clean enough so Jack helped Mac lie down on the nearest bed. The kid was in bad shape: his fever was getting worse by the minute and he was completely limp and helpless as Jack laid him down. He mumbled something once again, not completely unconscious, and Jack had to get his hand away from his wound because he was trying to poke it.

“‘m bleeding Jack” Mac whispered, seemingly astonished by the fact.  
“Believe me, I know” he answered quietly.

He helped Mac drink a little more despite the blond's protests. The kid was obviously exhausted and not that aware of what was happening around him. Jack sat down heavily on the bed next to Mac's, wiped his hands coated with blood on his jeans and sighed. They were in deep shit, to say the least. Jack didn't know what he could do: they were in the middle of fucking Iowa, Mac’s brain was currently unhelpful and Jack had no way to contact Matty, Riley and Bozer. He could just hope that Riley would manage to find them but he didn't even know their status right now. Oh, and Mac desperately needed to get medical help! What a _great_ clusterfuck!

Jack muttered swear words under his breath. He wasn’t usually the one making the plans so, for the moment, it was a pretty minimalist one: spend the night in the motel while trying to get Mac's fever down and, if by tomorrow's dawn he hadn't received a word from the others, he would play on his old contacts from the Deltas and get Mac to safety. And if some bad guys found them first, well he would shoot at them. _There, a clear and easy to follow plan, take that Mac!_

A moan from the blond broke Jack from his musing. Getting up again, he stroked Mac's sweaty hair. The kid was unconscious but in pain and Jack felt, once again, helpless, unable to help the guy who was, since these fateful 64 days in Afghanistan, the pillar of Jack's life.

_Without you_  
_There would be no sun in my sky_  
_There would be no love in my life_  
_There'd be no world left for me_

“What… What you're humming?” Mac asked unexpectedly, his voice but a mere whisper.  
“Oh uh, a song from that was in a store, I don't know, it just stuck with me I guess” Jack replied, kind of embarrassed, but ultimately relieved that Mac was conscious. “How you feeling bud?”  
“Like… Shit.”

Jack laughed, hoping his dampened eyes weren't too obvious. Fuck, this kid would make him have a heart attack way before his time.

“Well you look it, hoss.”  
“Where… Where…” Mac coughed harshly.

Jack put a hand behind his back and helped him in a sort of sitting position. The coughing fit lasted for two good minutes and, after it, the poor kid was white as a sheet, sweat-soaked and trembling with exhaustion. Mac opened his mouth but Jack shushed him.

“Hey, don't try to talk so soon, okay? If your question was “where are we”, the answer is a motel ‘cause I didn't know where else to sleep in fucking Iowa” Mac smiled slightly and Jack thought he could breathe again. “If you wanted to know where are the others, to be honest I have no idea but I'm sure that they're alright, Matty wouldn't let them get hurt by anyone other than herself.” _Don't make a liar out of me_ , he prayed.

Mac was smiling slightly, more aware than he was earlier. A quick check of his temperature showed no improvement, which was disheartening, but no worsening either so Jack would take it. Jack also checked the kid's wound but his makeshift bandage seemed to hold.

“... ‘k?” whispered his freakingly stubborn partner. It took Jack some seconds to understand him.  
“Are you… Seriously asking me if I'm okay? You've been stabbed but you want to know if **_I_** am okay?” The kid nodded weakly and Jack laughed. “You’re unbelievable. Yes, I am okay, the worse thing I had to do today was enter a convenience store” _And get you to safety while stopping your insides from leaving their natural habitat and also being worried sick that you would die because I wasn't there to protect you_. Jack didn’t say that.

He babbled about the frankly concerning hygiene of the store and the fucking slow and probably soulless cashier that he wanted to punch so badly. Mac laughed, a little subdued but awake and aware and Jack's brain kept singing thank god. Time passed, the kid slept and his fever went down little bit by even smaller bit, but it went down nonetheless. Jack didn't sleep, too high on adrenaline and too scared of what could happen if he let his guard down.

At thirty past four, someone knocked harshly on the door and Jack greeted them with a gun to their head. Bozer put his hands up quickly but wasn't that startled by the greeting.

“Hey, firstly please don't shoot me. Secondly, the bad guys are practically all arrested, Matty and Riley are waiting in the van and we have an exfil to LA in forty minutes.”  
“Jesus” Jack sighed, “finally some good news. Here, help me with Mac.”

Jack was too tired to react when Bozer gasped, he just reassured that the blond was more or less fine while trying to gently rouse his partner. Tired and confused blue eyes met him, but at least it was now sleepiness and not pain that was clouding it.

“We need to go kid. The others are here”

Mac hummed quietly and let Jack put a hand behind his shoulders and get him to sit up. He stifled his groans as much as he could and smiled at Bozer who was hovering awkwardly behind Jack. Even if both his friends were helping him walk, the way to the van felt awfully long and he was relieved when Riley helped him lay down in the back. She then took the wheel, Matty beside her, while Bozer sat at his side and Jack knees served as a cushion. His partner couldn’t seem to be able to stop touching him in some way and his eyes still held some anxiety.

“Hey, Jack” Mac whispered after some time.  
“Yeah?” he replied as quietly.  
“Thanks. For getting me out.”  
“Anytime hoss, you know it.”

Mac could have sworn that Jack's eyes were wet, but he didn't say anything (his own were too.)

_I'd be lost if I lost you._

**Author's Note:**

> The song is called "How do I live" and it was sung by LeAnn Rimes!
> 
> The idea came to me cause this song actually was put in a store I was in and I found it kinda weird (I mean, it's a little old and sad for background music I guess? Idk) so I listened and boom this story was born. I wasn't very consistent in writing it but I hope it doesn't show too much!
> 
> Here are some questions if you don't know what to comment:
> 
> \- Was using the song as a motif weird? (It's the first time I do this kind of thing and I kinda like it but I'd like to know what you think, as readers!)  
> \- Did you enjoy hurt!Mac and worried!Jack? (I mean... This is one of my favourite thing in this fandom, I can never get enough of it so I hope I did it justice)  
> \- Did the lack of details bother you? (Not only am I not good at making them but I also think I wouldn't be able to include it nicely in the story, so I hope not)
> 
> Well, I think that's more than enough!  
> Hey, on an unrelated subject, I'm kinda stuck rn in my writing. Aside from wanting to hurt Mac, I don't really know what to write. I can't promise at all that I will be able to write a lot of things, but would you be willing to give me some scenarios that you would like to see written? Once again, no promise, my life is kinda busy so I'm not sure I'll be able to write a lot, but I would appreciate it!
> 
> Thank you for reading and sorry for my never-ending notes!


End file.
